Going into college is intimidating, especially when you wake up every morning at 6 a.m. to hit people twice your size. After committing to Marist football, I entered college as a 180-pound linebacker; typically, your average Division I linebacker weighs between 215 and 230 pounds.
Stepping on campus on August 6, 2023, it quickly became clear as day that I was the smallest and skinniest linebacker on the team. I knew I had a lot of work for me. Becoming a Freshman All-American, Rookie DPOY and starting all 11 games was not in the cards at first.
In addition to being significantly undersized for my sport and position, I experienced living on my own and taking care of myself for the first time, just like the rest of my peers entering their first year of college. I spent lots of time by myself during my first semester of freshman year.
All of this combined was extremely intimidating and even discouraging to me about the decision I had made to play college football.
From the jump, criticisms existed about my size and weight. Some people thought I was a safety, some thought receiver and I was even told that many people thought I was the new kicker.
Not only was I being challenged physically this early in my college career, but I was also in a constant battle mentally. I thought this was never going to end.
Outside of football, I began to search for other purposes and experiences in college. Many people turn to partying, frats/sororities, or hobbies. I was searching for a real purpose, something that could not only benefit my life but others as well.
That is when I turned to God. Before college, I had little experience with religion. I had been to church and celebrated holidays like Christmas and Easter. However, I never understood the true meaning and purpose behind these things.
While everyone else partied and went out on the weekends, I stayed in my room researching, praying and reading about God and Christianity.
I slowly began to create a relationship with God without even knowing. I even began calling myself a man of faith. As each day and week went on, I gradually became the man that God wanted me to be.
I started to naturally put on weight faster than I expected. I grew stronger and stronger every day, slowly turning heads and becoming noticed by my teammates and friends. This led me to Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) at Marist, and I began connecting with athletes and fellow teammates who also love God. The FCA has been an amazing experience and community that I am grateful to be surrounded by and hope to lead next year.
As the spring semester came around, I was given a chance to be on an equal footing with everyone else. Marist hired an entirely brand-new staff with a new philosophy and culture, not to mention an unfamiliar scheme and playbook. However, throughout spring practice, I never got reps with the first team.
I was never discouraged because I had great teammates and friends at my position, like senior Tyler Ruscher, who helped me learn and continue working hard regardless of the circumstances.
Tyler and I grew up in the same town and became good friends as kids at our dad’s baseball games, which gave me someone I was familiar with before arriving at Marist. That friendship grew stronger throughout the year despite fighting to get on the field at the same position.
Spring practices allowed me to grow friendships with all the linebackers, and regardless of who was playing at the time, I am grateful that the circumstances never affected those relationships. At the end of the year, we had individual meetings with our position coaches; the coaches created a point scale ranging from “starter on a good team’’ to “scout team player.”
I walked into the meeting with confidence, thinking I would rank highly and be praised for my commitment and hard work. Instead, I ranked the second-lowest in six categories, despite everything I worked for and put into becoming a better man and football player.
Judging by how discouraged I was earlier in the year, you may think that I would fall into much despair or become unmotivated to keep working. No, it was the complete opposite. Knowing that the coaches were simply not impressed with how far I thought I had come, my faith in God motivated me to continue giving it my all every day, not until I was a starter, but for the rest of my life. That is exactly what I did and have been doing since those meetings.
Fast forward to our first league game against Dayton. I remember being down early in the first quarter. On a long third down, the quarterback dropped back to pass and I read his eyes the whole time. I see him looking behind me to make a tight throw.
Before this game, I told one of my buddies who came up for the weekend that I was going to make a difference in this game. My first interception could not have come at a better time. I finally made that big play I was looking for to separate myself as someone who can be a playmaker. That was the first of four interceptions, and I finished leading the team and the Pioneer Football League in interceptions and leading the team in tackles.
The accolades and stats are great and fun, but it would be foolish of me not to give credit where it belongs. I would never be in the position I am today without God. He has provided me with so many opportunities and blessings.
I am so grateful to live the life that I do, and I am grateful to be able to play the game that I love. This faith has kept me going, even through two shoulder surgeries. In addition, my high school coach, Will Nahan, keeps me motivated by what he taught me when I played for him.
On his team, blaming, complaining and defending your poor actions or “BCD” was not tolerated. At the time, I just liked this idea and acronym. As I have experienced more opportunities and challenges, I realize the lessons he taught me through football could be taken much further than the field. He inspired my desire to coach by focusing on turning young boys into grown men by the time their football or high school days are over.
As I recover from surgery, I look forward to every opportunity that awaits, whether it is as small as going to physical therapy for a few hours or starting in a big game next season.
I can see football through a different lens; it is more than just a game. It has become part of my vocation, whether it be making plays on the field or showing up with a positive attitude every day, my journey is just beginning.
I am committed to carrying these values with me forever. Every challenge I face and every blessing I receive is an opportunity to honor God and a chance to inspire others to do the same. God Bless.
Edited by Aidan Lavin and Marley Pope
Graphic by Quinn DiFiore; Photos from Marist Athletics
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